~flyingkittens

I chopped off a lot of my hair over the weekend.
It looks pretty darn fabulous, if I do say so myself.
In fact, I'm downright "irresistable." : )

You know, I've been so busy avoiding the future that now that I have to focus on it, I'm freaking out. I need to start filling out scholarship forms, and FAFSA information. I need to start taking trips to colleges. I need to actually do research on majors that intrest me! I'm a little crazy, actually. I'm not actually super worried yet, but I think that I will be soon. We'll see. This should be interesting.

I feel better about school. I'm starting to get back into the swing of things (half way through the semester!) and things are getting easier. I wish I stil haad chemistry though. That was my favorite class last semester. It really challenged me and it took my mind off of the sad things.

Life is better, now. It's easier to accept change and to be alright with the way things are. I don't really know what changed, and I don't think it changed all at once. It's been a slow change, like one that just seeps into your soul, you know? Maybe that's silly. It probably is. But that's okay. : )

I am the walrus! Coo-coo-kahchoo!

There are some days when I feel like I have to grow up and be the adult for people. There are days when I feel like growing older in my soul is all I can do to stay alive in my heart.
Sometimes I don't want to be the responsible one.
Sometimes I don't want to have an old soul.

Sometimes, when people are loud and things are chaotic, I can close my eyes and remember the day Bradford and I went to College Hill park with our Heavenly Sno. It was late April and the weather was beautiful. We went to the swings and took off our shoes. We sat on the swings and wiggled our toes in the sand.
I don't remember what we talked about, but I remember the color of that wonderfully clean sky and the way Bradford's laugh sounded in the crispness of the air and the way the sand stuck in between my bare toes and the way the ice of my snowcone melted on my red, red tongue.

And you know, when I remember that day, I don't cry anymore. I think I just bask in the memory of his smile, and his joy.
Is that silly?
Probably.

Matt says he loves me.
Is that silly?
Probably.

Dad says he's going to be better.
Is that silly?
Probably.

You know, I'm just now realizing something. Right now, right at this second.
I am okay.
I am okay.

Thanks for being there, my friends.

There are days when I feel complete joy in the most beautiful ways, and at the most unexpected times. And when I do, it consumes me, body and soul. I want to scream until my voice gives out, and I want to dance until the end of time, and I want to run until my legs won't carry me.

Today is one of those days.

It's snowing here and it is beautiful. I forgot how amazing this season can be.

Oh, my friends, I'm so happy today. God has really given me joy.

I feel like my thoughts are just a jumbled mess of nonsense in my head. It's quite a hilarious image.

I want to laugh until I cry, and then cry until I laugh.

Wouldn't that be amazing?

Read a book, my friends. It will make your mind powerful.

Pray, my dears, for sanity, and for laughter, and for tears, and for music. It will make your soul sing.

You know the feeling you sometimes get when time goes too fast? The one when it feels like you just can't keep up with everything that is going on around you?
I feel like that a lot today.

You know, it's almost Christmas. Which means it's almost Miqra. Which means it's almost spring break. Which means it's almost May. Which means it's almost summer.

I miss summer! I miss being able to just walk outside and be warm. I miss the green leaves and the soft grass. I miss the watermelon and the corn. I miss marshmellows, and friends, and trips, and laughter, and togetherness.

The cold is comin' and the leaves are fallin'.
Don't forget to wear hats, my darlin's.

So, tests suck a lot, and clay really softens the skin.

Sometimes, all you have to do is take a step back from life and watch it through your own, perfect vision. Sometimes, all you need to do is buy yourself lunch.

Go draw a dancin' skeleton. Go sing a gospel song. Go dance a Grease dance. Go read a beautiful book.

Live for music, and live for literature. Live for today's joy, and the hope for tomorrow. Bask in self-love, and give love away.

But don't forget the past. The past is who we were, and the future is ours because of it. Don't forget all of those who went before you for they defined our world.

Don't be afraid to continue on.
Don't be afraid.

Joy is coming, my friends. I can feel it. It's slow, and painful, but it is comin'.
Hold on for dear life, and scream at the top of your lungs! It's goin' be an amazing ride!